“The ants go marching one-by-one…hurrah…hurrah….” Yes, it’s ant season here my Heroes and whomever thought it was a good idea to ‘cheer them on’ with this song is welcome to come take over the ‘ant duty’ any day! I know I’m FAR from alone in this glorious ant-invasion and I will tell you now that there ARE solutions that seem to be working (FINALLY)!!! IF you want them, comment below and I will gladly share, my Heroes.
But this…..this is not REALLY about the ants….
Standing in my small, normally-clean, white kitchen, which now either looked as though someone had tossed their cookies or a cooking experiment-gone-bad, broken spray bottle of pepper-vinegar-water in one hand and my phone with research on ‘natural, effective ways to get rid of sugar ants’ in the other, my brain was on overload and my patience had taken a vacation long ago. Add this to the plethora of other ‘issues’ I was battling last week and, well….This was the FINAL STRAW.
My Heroes, I KNOW you’ve been here….the land of the “Final Straw,” where you believe that you simply CANNOT handle ONE more thing ‘gone wrong’ in your day, week, month. (I see you nodding, my Heroes…) To top the ‘Final Straw’ off, you open yourself up to a friend to garner support and comfort, only to be told that “it could always be worse….” or some similar, well-meaning sentiment that in reality only makes you want to scream, cry, hit something, or a combination of all three, thus rendering you feeling even MORE alone in the land of the ‘Final Straw.’
For each of you Heroes, this ‘Final Straw’ is different, as our struggles are SO unique. Yet what IS the same is the fact that we all DO struggle. Yes, some struggles are UNDENIABLY greater than others; no doubt; however, when we are deep in ants and straws, our struggles FEEL greater to US and this is an important reality to accept.
Further, no matter the size of the struggles, no matter what builds up to that ‘Final Straw,’ it takes our time, energy, love, patience, sanity; it takes our soul, spirit, and body and twists them into a knot so tight it would hold the weight of the world upon it (and often feels as though it is), which is why, my strong Heroes, when we finally DO reach that ‘Final Straw,’ we so often ‘break’ or ‘snap.’
Remember those ants I was telling you about? Standing there…hundreds of thoughts invading my brain, I started to count the ants…and then, I started to laugh. I must have looked straight-jacket-worthy at that moment…dressed in white, covered in pepper, cinnamon, and vinegar, crazed-eyes……counting and laughing. (I’d like to say I was alone, my Heroes, but as luck would have it, no, my landlord and her handyman were upstairs adding to the pathway to the land of the ‘Final Straw…’ which only made me laugh harder….).
Why was I laughing? Because the ants were teaching me important lessons. Lessons I knew, but had forgotten to practice. Wisdom we ALL know, but FAR-TOO-OFTEN forget. The ants were teaching me how to not only survive, but to drive on through the land of the ‘Final Straw’ without breaking OR snapping.
My Heroes, here’s what the ants have to teach us (in no particular order):
1) We NEED to give ourselves some GRACE, my Heroes, for, just as we shouldn’t compare our best to someone else’s best, or our intentions to someone else’s actions, we should steer clear of comparing OUR ‘Final Straw’ to someone else’s. Your ants are YOUR ants, my Heroes.
2) Find a different friend. My Heroes, if the one friend you chose to go to for ‘support’ wasn’t the right one, choose another. Keep looking until you find one who will give you the validation and support you need; you only really NEED ONE. Just like the ‘natural solutions’ I tried on the ants. If one didn’t work, tried another; or if one only worked for part of the problem, tried another until I found what I needed. You only need one, my Heroes.
3) We need to get back in the habit of counting our BLESSINGS rather than our ants. I’m NOT suggesting, my Heroes, that we ignore our struggles, nor our ants; no, only to see the blessings for the ants. As I counted, I realized that if I could ACTUALLY count the number of ants, then the problem wasn’t nearly as bad as originally thought; still annoying, but now a solution seemed more ‘findable.’ In addition, I happened to be home (because of the afore-mentioned landlord issue) to be able to ‘fix’ the ant problem. These may be small blessings, but they are blessings nonetheless and I’ll take them, no matter the size. Count your blessings, my Heroes, small and large, not your ants.
4) We need to give TIME for the solutions to work. As I lay the solution to my ant problem around my kitchen, I wanted, no I NEEDED it to work instantaneously. Standing there, watching, waiting, watching more….did nothing for me. Urgent texts to that ONE friend were sent….WHY isn’t this working yet?!!! Calming response returned…..’Give it time.’ My Heroes, breathe and give TIME for the solutions to work.
5) Far too often, my Heroes, things seem to get MUCH worse BEFORE they get better. The ‘bait’ was set for my ant-friends, taking a breath and a step back, actually, leaving the kitchen and coming back several hours later….to my horror, I had suddenly gone from being able to count my ants, to NOT being able to count them for they had come out in droves (or so it seemed). WHAT?!!! (More urgent texts to THAT friend… “It’s WORSE!!!” “ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH” “AHHHHHHHHHHH”…..More calming responses returned….’Give it time.’ ‘That’s exactly what is supposed to happen.’ ‘It WILL get better.’) The ants will multiply, my Heroes, before they disappear; they will get worse before they get better, but they WILL get better.
6) Sometimes you just have to stand back and laugh. Yes, my Heroes, in the end, HUMOR is our greatest ally. Laughter can heal wounds that go deeper than any knife. Either find the humor, or find someone to HELP you find the humor and start laughing at your ants. Find (& use) the HUMOR, my Heroes, and laugh at your ants.
My Heroes, the ants are gone, the spice explosion has been cleaned up, and my kitchen returned to its somewhat ‘clean’ state….awaiting the next pile of straws, I’m certain. YOUR ants, YOUR struggles, YOUR straws…..when there gone, yes, there will be others waiting in the wings. Only THIS time, my Heroes, remember the ants. Remember what they taught us, my Heroes.
Share in the comments below YOUR ant solutions, or lessons, or, simply your stories. Sharing can help you feel less alone. And, my Heroes, if you ever need to find that ONE friend who will be there, reach out for here we are.
Looking forward to your stories, my Heroes,
Lora Ackermann
Ant-Counting Hero Trainer