Hello my Heroes! It’s been nearly a year since you’ve heard from me. I have missed you and I thank those of you who have asked and inquired. I’ve sat many a time to write, to no avail. So, what, you may wonder, has brought my heart such a strong message now, that I find myself compelled to find you all again?
Life certainly takes us down paths we don’t expect and some we hope to never go down, doesn’t it? My Heroes, I’m sure your path has had its own curves, obstacles, and surprises as well. Some are blessed. Some are simply stressed. No matter what they bring, they add something to our lives.
Even in the negative spaces they might leave behind, they add, my Heroes; they truly do.
My Heroes, these tangential branches of our journeys do more than just add to our lives; they can actually change whom we are, or, perhaps, redefine whom we think we are.
But, my Heroes, what if you don’t know whom you are to begin with? Or, even worse, what if you knew, and over the course of far-too-many unexpected branches, you lost that person? What then?
This evening, as my son and I shopped at a local 99 Cent store for a few snacks for our upcoming trip, we encountered a gentle woman, who may have been someone’s kind grandmother on another path, but now, she was standing outside holding a sign asking for anything anyone was willing to give. I’ve seen this gentle woman before. In the same place. Then, as with now, we gave her one of the $10 Subway cards we keep in our car for just such occasions. (We stopped giving money long ago, but, instead, keep these gift cards at the ready as it allows us to give without wondering what they might be doing with the money.)
Previously, when I gave her the card, I hadn’t taken the time to stop and talk with her and I had regretted that decision; thus, I was happy to see her, again, and be given another chance.
When we gave her the card, she looked us in the eye, and with a soft smile, she breathed, “Thank you and bless you.”
Upon coming out of the store, we stopped and I reached my hand forward to introduce myself. She was not used to this. She faltered and informed us that she doesn’t shake hands, or hug. That it’s not personal. We smiled and told her our names and that we understood.
Then I asked her what HER name was.
My Heroes, with tears in my eyes, I write this, for her answer saddened me to the core. She said, “Oh, I don’t have a name. You can call me whatever you want to call me.”
Now it was I who faltered.
My Heroes, does she not know her name? Does she not know whom she is? Was this a protective move (don’t get too close to anyone)? Does she know whom she is, but not want to share such personal information? She didn’t say she didn’t KNOW her name, but that she didn’t have one. Or is it that she simply isn’t used to anyone caring enough to stop and ask and, that, over the years, she has (almost?) forgotten? It’s not her memory, my Heroes, for she remembered me from the last time I gave her a card. She even said, “I think you were here before and you gave me a card.” She thanked us, again.
Perhaps, my Heroes, she simply doesn’t wish to remember.
We wished her a good night and walked away. Tears streamed down my face at the thought of not knowing whom you are, or of wanting to forget. At telling a stranger to call you anything they choose to call you. This beautiful soul, who reminds me of a kind-hearted woman who used to live across the street from me growing up. She used to read books to and with me for a long time; until she moved away. She, too, was a kind and gentle soul such as this woman. Tears, my Heroes. I couldn’t stop them, just as I cannot stop them now.
For you see, my Heroes, our name…it’s a part of whom we are. It’s an important part of this journey we are on and, even if we are constantly striving to know, fully and completely, WHOM we are (for that, I believe, is a life-long pursuit), our name guides us to a degree. We IDENTIFY with our name. Think about it. Most people, once you get to know them, and I mean REALLY know them, they FIT their name, right? (I see you nodding your heads, my Heroes…)
I mean, sure, we have nicknames, and perhaps names from other languages, and pet names, but our NAME…it’s SO key to our identity. When our children were babies, or perhaps your pet, even, we are advised to be sure to use their ACTUAL given name and not just the sweet pet names or terms of endearment. Why, my Heroes? Because they would not know whom they are if we didn’t. This, we were told by many more experienced than we.
My Heroes, I don’t know this gentle woman’s story. Perhaps, someday, I will be so privileged to. Perhaps not. To me, she is a brave soul. So, next time, I shall simply call her, “Brave.”
What I DO know, my Heroes, is that this kind, brave soul reminded me what an incredible treasure it is to not only know our name(s), but to know, even if only an inkling, whom we are. She reminded me that I need to continue to sow into my children and empower them to stand tall and proud in their name; to do right by their names, not only for those for whom they ARE named, but for THEMSELVES.
My Heroes, my wish for you until we meet again:
May you always know your name. May you stand tall and proud IN your name; whatever part of your name you choose to most identify with. May you empower your children (pets included) to know THEIR name; to TRULY and COMPLETELY know. And, my Heroes, should you ever falter; as we all have, may you know that you are surrounded by those who will help you remember.
Standing tall IN my name,
Lora Ackermann
Name-Knowing Hero Trainer
Life certainly takes us down paths we don’t expect and some we hope to never go down, doesn’t it? My Heroes, I’m sure your path has had its own curves, obstacles, and surprises as well. Some are blessed. Some are simply stressed. No matter what they bring, they add something to our lives.
Even in the negative spaces they might leave behind, they add, my Heroes; they truly do.
My Heroes, these tangential branches of our journeys do more than just add to our lives; they can actually change whom we are, or, perhaps, redefine whom we think we are.
But, my Heroes, what if you don’t know whom you are to begin with? Or, even worse, what if you knew, and over the course of far-too-many unexpected branches, you lost that person? What then?
This evening, as my son and I shopped at a local 99 Cent store for a few snacks for our upcoming trip, we encountered a gentle woman, who may have been someone’s kind grandmother on another path, but now, she was standing outside holding a sign asking for anything anyone was willing to give. I’ve seen this gentle woman before. In the same place. Then, as with now, we gave her one of the $10 Subway cards we keep in our car for just such occasions. (We stopped giving money long ago, but, instead, keep these gift cards at the ready as it allows us to give without wondering what they might be doing with the money.)
Previously, when I gave her the card, I hadn’t taken the time to stop and talk with her and I had regretted that decision; thus, I was happy to see her, again, and be given another chance.
When we gave her the card, she looked us in the eye, and with a soft smile, she breathed, “Thank you and bless you.”
Upon coming out of the store, we stopped and I reached my hand forward to introduce myself. She was not used to this. She faltered and informed us that she doesn’t shake hands, or hug. That it’s not personal. We smiled and told her our names and that we understood.
Then I asked her what HER name was.
My Heroes, with tears in my eyes, I write this, for her answer saddened me to the core. She said, “Oh, I don’t have a name. You can call me whatever you want to call me.”
Now it was I who faltered.
My Heroes, does she not know her name? Does she not know whom she is? Was this a protective move (don’t get too close to anyone)? Does she know whom she is, but not want to share such personal information? She didn’t say she didn’t KNOW her name, but that she didn’t have one. Or is it that she simply isn’t used to anyone caring enough to stop and ask and, that, over the years, she has (almost?) forgotten? It’s not her memory, my Heroes, for she remembered me from the last time I gave her a card. She even said, “I think you were here before and you gave me a card.” She thanked us, again.
Perhaps, my Heroes, she simply doesn’t wish to remember.
We wished her a good night and walked away. Tears streamed down my face at the thought of not knowing whom you are, or of wanting to forget. At telling a stranger to call you anything they choose to call you. This beautiful soul, who reminds me of a kind-hearted woman who used to live across the street from me growing up. She used to read books to and with me for a long time; until she moved away. She, too, was a kind and gentle soul such as this woman. Tears, my Heroes. I couldn’t stop them, just as I cannot stop them now.
For you see, my Heroes, our name…it’s a part of whom we are. It’s an important part of this journey we are on and, even if we are constantly striving to know, fully and completely, WHOM we are (for that, I believe, is a life-long pursuit), our name guides us to a degree. We IDENTIFY with our name. Think about it. Most people, once you get to know them, and I mean REALLY know them, they FIT their name, right? (I see you nodding your heads, my Heroes…)
I mean, sure, we have nicknames, and perhaps names from other languages, and pet names, but our NAME…it’s SO key to our identity. When our children were babies, or perhaps your pet, even, we are advised to be sure to use their ACTUAL given name and not just the sweet pet names or terms of endearment. Why, my Heroes? Because they would not know whom they are if we didn’t. This, we were told by many more experienced than we.
My Heroes, I don’t know this gentle woman’s story. Perhaps, someday, I will be so privileged to. Perhaps not. To me, she is a brave soul. So, next time, I shall simply call her, “Brave.”
What I DO know, my Heroes, is that this kind, brave soul reminded me what an incredible treasure it is to not only know our name(s), but to know, even if only an inkling, whom we are. She reminded me that I need to continue to sow into my children and empower them to stand tall and proud in their name; to do right by their names, not only for those for whom they ARE named, but for THEMSELVES.
My Heroes, my wish for you until we meet again:
May you always know your name. May you stand tall and proud IN your name; whatever part of your name you choose to most identify with. May you empower your children (pets included) to know THEIR name; to TRULY and COMPLETELY know. And, my Heroes, should you ever falter; as we all have, may you know that you are surrounded by those who will help you remember.
Standing tall IN my name,
Lora Ackermann
Name-Knowing Hero Trainer